The 12 Clients of Christmas

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Ever wonder what would happen if Clark Griswold contacted your agency inquiring about a new website to market his house with a “grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights?”

How about if Rudolph wanted a website to sell the best LED light bulbs for those Chicago Winter storms?

Client interactions for any marketing B2B can range from delightful to dreadful. Just imagine if the following Christmas characters came knocking on your door asking for help with developing their website. Depending on the outcome you’ll either be dancing with sugarplums or wishing you could plop a piece of coal in their stocking.

The Scrooge Client and His Ghosts

The Scrooge client for lack of a better word is a cheapskate. His huge expectations and unrealistic budget are his biggest downfall. Although he has plenty of money to spend on creating a killer website, his lack of trust in your agency makes it difficult for him to hand over the reigns.

In case the cheap budget wasn’t bad enough, now you have to deal with Scrooge’s three sidekicks:

The Ghost of Christmas Past would rather have you practice marketing tactics from 20 years ago than adapt to modern marketing.

The Ghost of Christmas Present is obsessed with the latest shiny new object. His unwillingness to see the big picture gets him into trouble.

The Ghost of Christmas Future: Overly concerned with upcoming digital marketing trends, this ghost barely gives present marketing practices the attention they deserve.

Unfortunately, Scrooge and his ghosts get what they paid for, a cheap-looking website with disappointing conversions.

The Clark Griswold Client

We all know Clark Griswold is consumed with a “good old-fashioned family Christmas.”

Even his wife Ellen tells him, “You set standards that no family activity can live up to.”

The Griswold client is stuck in tradition and order, unable to adapt to change. His grandiose expectations prevent him from making the necessary adjustments to gain measurable results. He is convinced that the days of link bait anchor text were the glory days and lacks the ability to trust the marketing agency for modern SEO strategies to better his website.

The Grinch Client

The Grinch is a joy stealer. Going into a meeting with him causes you anxiety and a sense of doom. His ‘I know best’ attitude makes communication unbelievably frustrating. There is no sense of collaboration. You end up wondering why he even hired you in the first place — he might as well stay a hairy green recluse.

Frosty The Snowman Client

Pleasant enough, this seemingly harmless snowman melts under pressure. Unable to make clear decisions, this wishy washy client ends up being a huge disappointment. Not fulfilling his end of the bargain, Frosty flakes out and ends up wasting your agency’s time and talents due to his lack of backbone.

The Santa Claus Client

The Santa Claus client is as jolly as he is dependable – clearly he’s been around for a while.  There’s a reason his company is already highly reputable and established. He delivers on time, is always pleasant and keeps calm under highly stressful circumstances. He’s almost too good to be true.

The Rudolph Client

When the Rudolph client contacts you, you’re not sure he’s a good fit for your agency. Normally you work with already established agencies. This client is somewhat of a rookie, with a much smaller staff and budget than you’re used to. Uneasy about going forward this client ends up proving you wrong. The result is one of the most creative and successful marketing campaigns your agency has had to date.

The Three Wise Men / Wise Women Clients

These clients are a match-made-in-heaven. They are incredibly smart, collaborate well and follow a path. Every client interaction you have with them is productive and full of clear actionable goals. Clearly they know the road ahead of them and what needs to get done in order to gain a beautiful high ranking website.

About Lisa Zatulovsky

Lisa Zatulovsky is the Content Marketing Specialist at Straight North, an Internet marketing agency with headquarters in Chicago. Lisa graduated from Roosevelt University of Chicago with a degree in journalism and loves writing, traveling and cooking.

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